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This joke's category: Politics Jokes
President Clinton finishes his time on earth and approaches the Pearly Gates of Heaven. "And who might you be?" inquires St. Peter.

"It's me, Bill Clinton, formerly the President of the United States and Leader of the Free World."

"Oh... Mr. President! What may I do for you?" asks St. Peter.

"I'd like to come in," replies Clinton.

"Sure," says the Saint. "But first you have to confess your sins. What bad things have you done in your life?"

Clinton bites his lip and answers, "Well, I tried marijuana, but you can't call it 'dope smoking' because I didn't inhale. There were inappropriate extramarital relationships, but you can't call it 'adultery' because I didn't have full 'sexual relations'. And, I made some statements that were misleading, but legally accurate, but you can't call it 'bearing false witness' because, as far as I know, it didn't meet the legal standard of perjury."

With that St. Peter consults the Book of Life briefly, and declares, "OK, here's the deal. We'll send you somewhere hot, but we won't call it 'Hell'. You'll be there indefinitely, but we won't call it 'eternity'. And when you enter, you don't have to "abandon all hope," just don't hold your breath waiting for it to freeze over."
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Top Joke-Telling Tips

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Don't read your joke
The best jokes told are the ones not read from a script. Try to memorize and practice your joke before telling it. If you can tell it without looking at notes, it will sound much more natural. NOTE - No one really says, "he replied" or "she responded." These are purely written joke phrases. Get rid of them!
Get into character
Change your voice or accent for each of the characters in your joke and try making some impromptu sound effects to accentuate the story.
Embellish
Joke-telling is storytelling. Use details (place names, character descriptions, etc) to make your joke sound more like a real story that you are recounting to a friend. Details draw the audience in and disguise the impending, and hopefully hilarious, twist ending.
Go retro with a Land Line
If you don't have a great cell signal, or a high quality cordless phone, you may be better off going old-school with a landline.
Don't distort
Don't hold the phone too close to your mouth and don't yell. You'd be surprised how sensitive telephone microphones are.
Record it again
If your train of thought derails halfway through the joke, re-record it. Umm's and missed cues should not make it into a Comic Wonder-worthy performance.