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This joke's category: Aviation Jokes
As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.

Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an elderly man in the uniform of an Air Force General is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the white-haired, courtly, soft-spoken General leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear.

Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause.

As the General slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve. "Excuse me, General," she asks quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?"

The old man smiles serenely and gently confides, "I showed him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door on any flight I choose."
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Don't read your joke
The best jokes told are the ones not read from a script. Try to memorize and practice your joke before telling it. If you can tell it without looking at notes, it will sound much more natural. NOTE - No one really says, "he replied" or "she responded." These are purely written joke phrases. Get rid of them!
Get into character
Change your voice or accent for each of the characters in your joke and try making some impromptu sound effects to accentuate the story.
Embellish
Joke-telling is storytelling. Use details (place names, character descriptions, etc) to make your joke sound more like a real story that you are recounting to a friend. Details draw the audience in and disguise the impending, and hopefully hilarious, twist ending.
Go retro with a Land Line
If you don't have a great cell signal, or a high quality cordless phone, you may be better off going old-school with a landline.
Don't distort
Don't hold the phone too close to your mouth and don't yell. You'd be surprised how sensitive telephone microphones are.
Record it again
If your train of thought derails halfway through the joke, re-record it. Umm's and missed cues should not make it into a Comic Wonder-worthy performance.
 

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